Faye Deborah Golder
Faye's friends are welcome to contact Faye's sister, Barbara (Lexington, MA) at billnovick@rcn.com with any memories of Faye or just to reminisce.
"Faygele" in Yiddish means "Little Bird" which is what her parents named Faye Golder when she was born. She was proud of her name, and identified with it.
Faye had a love of nature. Growing up in Milton, MA, she and her family went on picnics in the Blue Hills, spent summers in Nantasket Beach, and stayed at the family vacation house on Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire. After moving to New Haven in 1991, she shared her love of swimming, walking in the woods, singing and playing guitar around a campfire with her husband, Paul Caron, whom she met on an evening hike with the New Haven Hiking Club.
Faye's adventurous spirit led her to travel throughout the world. When they were just teen-agers, Faye and her sister, Barbara, went to New York City to see "Fiddler on the Roof." During the summer of 1969, they joined many others when they attended "Woodstock." At age twenty, she spent some time exploring Mexico with her brother, Neil. Another of Faye's memorable trips was to Israel with her father in 1992. Faye and Paul traveled together to such exotic places as Alaska and Peru. But they were just as content to walk down their street to Lighthouse Park to watch the sunset.
Faye's interest and talent in theater began when she was very young. She was in seventh grade when she played the role of Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol." Later roles in her career included Adelaide in "Guys and Dolls," Mrs. Peterson in "Bye, Bye Birdie," and Mrs. Banks in "Barefoot in the Park." Faye lived in the San Francisco area for several years, where she studied acting at the San Francisco Theater Academy and took improvisation classes from Whoopie Goldberg.
While in California, she did outreach and recreation work with the elderly and disabled. The combination of her dramatic talents and genuine desire to help others led her to eventually get a Master's Degree in Drama Therapy from New York University. When she began working at the Jewish Home for The Elderly in Fairfield, CT in 1996, she was the perfect match for the job of Assistant Director of Therapeutic Recreation. She could utilize her experience and creativity in music and drama as well as her expertise as a Certified Yoga Instructor. In September, 2004, she received the "President's Award for Outstanding Leadership" at the Jewish Home. Upon presenting the award, Andrew Banoff praised Faye for being "a leader in promoting kindness, generosity, goodwill, and spirituality."
Faye was completely devoted to her family and friends. Holiday celebrations in the Golder household were filled with performances of music, poems, dances, and jokes (usually puns). Faye had an ability to bring all members of her extended family together by making time for visits and cooking delicious meals at her home. She never seemed to miss an opportunity to attend a birthday, graduation, wedding, or special performance of her relatives and friends. She cherished her moments with her nephew Ben and niece Rose, and enjoyed seeing how well Erna, her mother-in-law, and her own mother, Shirley, got along together. She had a special bond with her aunts, uncles, and cousins. She was proud of her step-children, Jason and Paula, and her grand-daughter, Taya. Recently, Faye was thrilled with the opportunity to spend more time with her niece, Katelyn, and to get to know her better. The mutual love between Faye and her parents, Shirley and Mel, was always getting stronger.
Humor and inspiring people to have fun were important to Faye. She was a great mimic and could make people laugh. But she was never a "show-off". She enjoyed and encouraged others to be funny. One of her most prized accomplishments was that she once won a hula hoop contest. She brought her hoops along in all kinds of settings, including a group canoe trip in the wilderness of Vermont!
Even when she was ill, she brought joy to others. When Faye was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2004, her strength, dignity, and compassion for others only increased. She became close to the staff at both Dana Farber and Yale New Haven Hospital, always trying to put them at ease by her humor and warm smile.
Many of Faye's last days were spent lovingly with friends and family, looking out of her sun room window at the trees, the sky, and the birds. We will miss our own "little bird," Faye.
Faye Deborah GolderAge 55 of New Haven, CT, daughter of Mel and Shirley Golder of Randolph, died on April 5, 2007 of complications from a brain tumor. She is survived and deeply loved by her parents, her husband Paul Caron of New Haven, her sister Barbara Golder of Lexington and her brother Neil Golder of Ithaca, NY.
Letter From God (Written by Faye 11/93)
Dear Faye,
You are a special person, a child of the universe- your struggles are your own- but also those of all humankind. Know in your heart that even when you are feeling hopeless, you are still OK, that this feeling as all feeling will pass, that there’s an inner part of you that is pure and untouched by anything but love. You know what I am talking about, because you have experienced it. But don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t had a glimmer of it lately. Be glad you have had a glimmer at all. You are on the right path, Faye, even though you feel like you’re stranded in the thick woods without a trail in front of you. The path doesn’t go from 1 point to another- it’s always moving, changing, growing. And so are you. If you could remember that I love you all the time, if you can remind yourself of that even once in a while- and then perhaps remember it even more often. That’s all you need. You are a beautiful person and you flourish on that love. Don’t rob yourself of it. Lavish yourself with warmth and love. Do what you love to do and even if your attitude towards things sours, remember that the love is still there, whether you know it in your mind or not.
Love,
God
